Finally, I'm Over That!

In my case, CALM a La liberated me from my addiction!

OK, I’m finally ready to confess to my addiction. No, it isn’t the usual culprits: opioids or pot, or booze. But what I’ve been addicted to since November of 2016 is definitely a painkiller, or it was in my case. Clearly, I was addicted.

I remember exactly when it started: the night of November 8, 2016. I’d like to say I remember the evening clearly. I do recall that my husband and I were living in a lovely little rented house in a quiet neighborhood in Lenox, MA. Across the street lived my older neighbor, Nancy, whose pudgy little dog, Burt, quickly became “boyfriend” to my feisty little Havanese, Poco, or, Miss P, as we call her.

All I know is that I sank fast that night, and I sank deeply, immediately after it became clear that the TRASH HEAP had won the election. I recall walking very slowly up the staircase in the house, feeling dizzy, and nauseated. I fell onto the bed, with a sense of dread the size of Kansas at least.

That’s when it happened. I switched on the TV to find something mindless to take away the pain. And yes I found it, in a Hallmark movie. It was close enough to Christmas that people were decorating glowing trees while nibbling on perfect little sugar cookies. They were making gingerbread houses, and drinking hot cocoa foamed with whipped cream. They were ice skating and gathering in the town square to watch giant trees light up. Most importantly, they were laughing — whether they lived in Christmas Springs or Holiday Town, some other idyllic (FAKE) community, people were genuinely happy and they were feeling hopeful about life.

I certainly wasn’t. I was feeling devastated. The prospect of FOUR YEARS WITH THE TRASH HEAP — a lying son of a bitch whose only concern is/was/and will only always be himself — occupying the White House was more than I could handle. And so I lost myself in the music and glitter of the Hallmark world.

I’ve been addicted ever since. UNTIL, that is, until NOW.

I treated myself to a massage today, the first one in years (yes, I know, how crazy!) Lying there on the table, with Sarah W., the world’s best masseuse, delivering the massage, it hit me. I have no need for those foolish movies anymore. Like so many others these days, I FEEL AN AUTHENTIC SENSE OF HOPE.

How many people are walking around talking about the fact that they feel optimistic, even buoyant for the first time in forever! “There is a new energy around, I can feel it.” AND “I feel like I’ve had an immense boulder lifted off my chest.”

Yes, indeed. Need I say why?

I don’t need a painkiller anymore. And if things proceed the way they look like they’re going to go: CALM a LA, CALM a LA, CALM a LA, I won’t need a painkiller anytime soon. I know, I know, it’s not over yet. Like many of us, my friend Alice A. out in Denver — who was an early reader of this Substack column — worries. Understandably! She and I have been texting like madwomen ever since that magic Sunday, July 21, 2024 when the world turned right side up! Alice — who introduced me to deep canvassing earlier this year — texted me the other day to say

I wrote Alice back to say we can’t give into fears and scary possibilities. Instead, I said, do what I did for so many many months when I was in cancer treatment two decades ago: VISUALIZE!

Picture MADAME PRESIDENT CALM a La Harris and her running mate WALZing into the White House, waving to jubilant well wishers.

Speaking of WALZ, it’s not lost on me that our jolly-looking Vice Presidential nominee Tim Walz looks like a perfect blend of GRANDPA and SANTA CLAUS! And yes even though I’m Jewish and I practice my faith, I am/was/will always that child who couldn’t wait to get up in the dark on Christmas morning to scoot downstairs to see what gifts SANTA had left under the tree for me.

It’s that special mystery of Christmas, that SPIRIT OF HOPE AND POSSIBILITY, which infuses each and every one of the holiday movies on the Hallmark Channel. If you want to, you can actually soak up that spirit when they show Christmas movies in the middle of July! And yes, I admit, it has been known to happen in my living room.

But not anymore. Tonight, I’m going to watch — for the second time in a week — the movie version of the huge London musical hit, “Everybody’s Talking about Jamie!” It’s a great movie, with first class music, and best of all it’s based on a TRUE STORY!! A high school senior named Jamie New,

who lives with his incredibly supportive single mother in Sheffield, England embraces a new identity as MiMi ME — a drag queen — just in time for the Senior Prom. The movie is all the more poignant because Jamie’s father — at least, he was the sperm donor — rejects Jamie because of his sexuality, in the most painful and revolting way.

It might not sound riveting but I promise you it is. Because it’s a story about a young person who triumphs, living out his/her/their dream and finding happiness.

I’m laughing now, because it’s fully possible that I might once again

be addicted!